This story has been haunting me these last two days. Especially the statement: “Sam claims that rage motivated him, "The anger I never felt in my whole life.””
I’ve felt this same murderous rage. It’s a rage that results from sexual and physical abuse, and it was necessarily repressed for most of my life. It emerged a few times in dreams, a few times while awake. For me, it's always been directed at people in my family, but I think it’s likely that for many when their rage emerges it’s not directed at the people who abused them but at someone else—they’re triggered by someone and that’s who receives their rage. They may not remember its source, but even if they do they may not connect the abuse they suffered with the rage they feel as an adult.
I don't know about a chat, Jo--I haven't developed that skill--but possibly an email exchange? In reply to your reply: I did, for some years, use imaginative exercises as rage releases, but originally the rage came up spontaneously. I think this must be true for others, but I don't hear it discussed. People are afraid of it, their own and others'. Like everything else around incest (and other abuse), rage needs to be brought into the open and understood as a normal reaction to abuse. (The emotion, not any violent action, of course.)
This story has been haunting me these last two days. Especially the statement: “Sam claims that rage motivated him, "The anger I never felt in my whole life.””
I’ve felt this same murderous rage. It’s a rage that results from sexual and physical abuse, and it was necessarily repressed for most of my life. It emerged a few times in dreams, a few times while awake. For me, it's always been directed at people in my family, but I think it’s likely that for many when their rage emerges it’s not directed at the people who abused them but at someone else—they’re triggered by someone and that’s who receives their rage. They may not remember its source, but even if they do they may not connect the abuse they suffered with the rage they feel as an adult.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Zida! I often used imaginative exercises as rage releases as well. Let me know if you want to chat ♥️
I don't know about a chat, Jo--I haven't developed that skill--but possibly an email exchange? In reply to your reply: I did, for some years, use imaginative exercises as rage releases, but originally the rage came up spontaneously. I think this must be true for others, but I don't hear it discussed. People are afraid of it, their own and others'. Like everything else around incest (and other abuse), rage needs to be brought into the open and understood as a normal reaction to abuse. (The emotion, not any violent action, of course.)