The Home I Know: A Liberation Story
Table of Contents, Support Resources, & Bibliography
Thank you for your interest in my memoir. If your email server clips the message, then you can read the full post on Substack. You can also listen to the post by clicking the audio button at the top of this page. This post mentions incest abuse. If you’re seeking resources, head over to Incest AWARE or Sibling Sexual Trauma.
"I Want to Write Something So Simply" ~ Mary Oliver I want to write something so simply about love or about pain that even as you are reading you feel it and as you read you keep feeling it and though it be my story it will be common, though it be singular it will be known to you so that by the end you will think— no, you will realize— that it was all the while yourself arranging the words, that it was all the time words that you yourself, out of your heart had been saying.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Support Resources
The End: An Epilogue
PART I HIDE
Chapter 1: Property
Chapter 2: Anatomy
Chapter 3: Progeny
Chapter 4: Sanctity
Chapter 5: Heredity
PART II HURT
Chapter 6: Anxiety
Chapter 7: Fluidity
Chapter 8: Equity
Chapter 9: Duplicity
Chapter 10: Boundary
PART III HOLD
Chapter 11: Memory
Chapter 12: Liberty
Chapter 13: Honesty
Chapter 14: Ideology
Chapter 15: Testimony
PART IV HEAL
Chapter 16: Recovery
Chapter 17: Creativity
Chapter 18: Intimacy
Chapter 19: Economy
Chapter 20: Harmony
PART V HOME
Chapter 21: Identity
Chapter 22: Solidarity
Chapter 23: Constancy
Chapter 24: Sanctuary
The Beginning: A Prologue
Bibliography
Support Resources
Hotline
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Helplines
Websites
Sibling Sexual Trauma by 5WAVES
PDFs
Books
Bibliography
Asian Liberation Theology
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Black Liberation
Angelou, M. 2010. All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes: An Autobiography. Vintage.
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Career
Bolles, Richard N. 2021. What Color Is Your Parachute? 2022: Your Guide to a Lifetime of Meaningful Work and Career Success. Ten Speed Press.
Catholicism
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Comfort Women
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Complex Trauma Non-Fiction
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Bass, Ellen and Laura Davis. 1988. The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. New York, Perennial Library.
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Center for Institutional Courage. “Center for Institutional Courage,” n.d. https://www.institutionalcourage.org/
Crook, Lynn. 2022. False Memories: The Deception that Silenced Millions. New York: Lynn Crook.
Freyd, Jennifer J. 1998. Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Harvard University Press.
Freyd, Jennifer J. “Definition of Betrayal Trauma Theory,” n.d. https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineBT.html.
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Fugate, J. A. 2001. “Notes Who’s Failing Whom? A Critical Look At Failure-To-Protect Laws.” New York University Law Review, 76(1). https://nyulawreview.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/NYULawReview-76-1-Fugate.pdf
Gillen, M. M., Lefkowitz, E. S., & Shearer, C. L. 2006. “Does body image play a role in risky sexual behavior and attitudes?” Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 35, 230-242.
Gómez, J. M. 2019. “What’s the harm? Internalized prejudice and cultural betrayal trauma in ethnic minorities.” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 89(2), 237–247. https://doi.org/10.1037/ort0000367
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Herman, Judith Lewis. 2015. Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence-from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. New York, NY: Basic Books.
“Incest fact sheet.” New York Alliance Against Sexual Assault. https://svfreenyc.org/resource-guide/
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Olafson, Erna & Corwin, David & Summit, Roland. 1993. “Modern History of Child Sexual Abuse Awareness: Cycles of Discovery and Suppression.” Child abuse & neglect. 17. 7-24. 10.1016/0145-2134(93)90004-O.
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Van Der Kolk, Bessel A., Joseph Spinazzola, Margaret E. Blaustein, James W. Hopper, Elizabeth K. Hopper, Deborah L. Korn, and William B. Simpson. 2006. “A Randomized Clinical Trial of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Fluoxetine, and Pill Placebo in the Treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Treatment Effects and Long-Term Maintenance.” J Clin Psychiatry. Vol. 67. https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/uploads/docs/emdrjcpfinalpage_proofspdf.pdf.
Winters, G. M., Colombino, N., Schaaf, S., Laake, A. L. W., Jeglic, E. L., & Calkins, C. 2020. “Why do child sexual abuse victims not tell anyone about their abuse? An exploration of factors that prevent and promote disclosure.” Behavioral sciences & the law, 38(6), 586–611. https://doi.org/10.1002/bsl.2492
Yehuda R, Lehrner A. “Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms.” World Psychiatry. 2018 Oct;17(3):243-257. doi: 10.1002/wps.20568. PMID: 30192087; PMCID: PMC6127768.
Complex Trauma Non-Fiction Memoirs
Allison, Dorothy. 1992. Bastard Out of Carolina. New York, N.Y., U.S.A., Plume.
Allison, Dorothy. 1996. Two or Three Things I Know for Sure. New York: Penguin Books.
Angelou, Maya. 2009. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. New York, NY: Random House.
Cho, Grace M.. 2021. Tastes Like War: A Memoir. New York, NY, The Feminist Press at the City University of New York.
Foo, Stephanie. 2023. What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma. New York, Ballantine Books
Harjo, Joy. 2012. Crazy Brave: A Memoir. New York, W.W. Norton & Company.
Kouchner, Camille. 2022. The Familia Grande: A Memoir. New York, Other Press.
Nin, A. 1969. The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1931–1934. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Steinem, Gloria. 2016. My Life On the Road. Random House, LLC.
Strayed, Cheryl. 2012. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. New York: Alfred A. Knopf.
Tarantini, Diane. EVERYONE WAS SILENT: A memoir. Heard Communications, LLC.
V (formally Ensler, Eve). 2013. In the Body of the World. New York, NY, Metropolitan Books/Henry Holt and Company.
V (formally Ensler, Eve). 2019. The Apology. Bloomsbury Publishing.
Westover, Tara. 2018. Educated: A Memoir. New York, Random House.
Yuknavitch, Lidia. 2011. The Chronology of Water: A Memoir. Portland, OR, Hawthorne Books.
Yuknavitch, Lidia. “Lidia Yuknavitch Tells Us.” Cheryl Strayed’s Dear Sugar (blog), February 4, 2025.
Design
Romagnoli, A., A. Saxena, G. Vagnarelli, and Design Thinking for Social Change EU project. 2023. “Design Thinking for Social Change.” https://european-echr.eu/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Btn2_Design-for-change-PR2.pdf.
Disability Rights
Wong, Alice. 2020. Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century. New York, NY: Crown Books for Young Readers.
El Salvador
Brackley, Dean. 2004. The Call to Discernment in Troubled Times: New Perspectives on the Transformative Wisdom of Ignatius of Loyola. Herder & Herder.
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Doll, Don, SJ. “The Stations of the Cross.” Creighton. Accessed October 22, 2024. https://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/UCAstations2.html.
Garsd, Jasmine. “How El Salvador Fell Into a Web of Gang Violence.” NPR, October 5, 2015. https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/10/05/445382231/how-el-salvador-fell-into-a-web-of-gang-violence.
Heidenry, Rachel. “Archbishop Orders Destruction of Salvadoran Mural.” Pulitzer Center, January 6, 2012. Accessed October 23, 2024. https://pulitzercenter.org/stories/archbishop-orders-destruction-salvadoran-mural.
Llort, F. (n.d.). The Artist. Fernando LLort. Retrieved December 9, 2024, from https://www.fernando-llort.com/biography
Markey, Eileen. 2016. A Radical Faith: The Assassination of Sister Maura. Bold Type Books.
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Romero, Oscar. 2021. The Violence of Love. Orbis Books.
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Feminism
Brock, Rita Nakashima, and Rebecca Ann Parker. 2002. Proverbs of Ashes: Violence, Redemptive Suffering, and the Search for What Saves Us. Boston: Beacon Press.
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Steinem, Gloria. 1992. Revolution From Within: A Book of Self-esteem. Boston, Little, Brown and Co.
Steinem, Gloria. 2010. Scholars, Witches, and Other Freedom Fighters. BetterListen!
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Films
Knight, Mary, dir. Am I Crazy? My Journey to Determine if My Memories Are True. Mary Knight Productions, 2022. 1 hr., 43 min. www.maryknightproductions.com.
Mustard, Amanda, and Rachel Beth Anderson, dirs. Great Photo, Lovely Life. HBO Documentary Films, 2023. 1 hr., 52 min. www.max.com.
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Grief
Weller, Francis, 1956- and Michael Lerner. 2015. The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief. Berkeley, California, North Atlantic Books.
The Holocaust
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Incest/Child Sexual Abuse Research & Resources
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Pickett, M., Satifka, E., Shah, R. S., Juvenile Law Center, & Vic Wiener. 2020. “LABELED FOR LIFE.” Juvenile Law Center. https://jlc.org/sites/default/files/attachments/2020-08/JLC_SORNA-Report_8-15_0.pdf
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Wilson, Melba.1994. Crossing the Boundary: Black Women Survive Incest. Seattle, WA, Seal Press.
Latin American Liberation Theology
Gutierrez , Gustavo. 1988. A Theology of Liberation: History, Politics, and Salvation (15th Anniversary Edition with New Introduction by Author). 15th ed. Maryknoll: Orbis Books.
Palumbo, Gene. “El Salvador, Back in the Day: A New Way of Being Church and Doing Theology.” Revista: Harvard Review of Latin America, March 19, 2021. https://revista.drclas.harvard.edu/el-salvador-back-in-the-day/.
Literature
Kidd, Sue Monk. 2013. The Secret Life of Bees. Penguin Books.
Morrison, Toni. 1994. The Bluest Eye. New York, Plume.
Mental Health
American Psychiatric Association. 2013. Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
Greitens, Eric. 2015. Resilience: Hard-won Wisdom for Living a Better Life. Boston, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Jamison, Kay Redfield. 2014. An Unquiet Mind. Picador Classic. London, England: Picador.
Jamison, Kay R. 2023. Fires in the Dark: Healing the Unquiet Mind. New York, Alfred A. Knopf.
Myth
Chaliakopoulos, A. (2021, May 29). “Apollo and Daphne: A detailed breakdown of the famous Greek myth.” The Collector. Retrieved December 9, 2024, from https://www.thecollector.com/apollo-and-daphne/
Native American Liberation
Betasamosake Simpson, Leanne. 2017. As We Have Always Done. Indigenous Americas. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press.
Kimmerer, R. W. 2020. Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants. Penguin UK.
Nuclear Family
Manoukian, Marina. “On The Etymologies and Linguistic Evolutions of ‘Family.’” Literary Hub, June 21, 2022. Accessed October 23, 2024. https://lithub.com/on-the-etymologies-and-linguistic-evolutions-of-family/.
Philosophy
Centre, Ethics. “Ethics Explainer: Existentialism.” THE ETHICS CENTRE, October 26, 2023. https://ethics.org.au/ethics-explainer-existentialism/#:~:text=Existentialism%20is%20the%20philosophical%20belief,governments%2C%20teachers%20or%20other%20authorities.
Ideo U. “What is Design Thinking & Why Is It Beneficial?” Accessed October 23, 2024. https://www.ideou.com/blogs/inspiration/what-is-design-thinking?srsltid=AfmBOoouypU2etYku6MHzWHndMhG3NXR1bs2B2y6zQ2Aj5-XgRyef2Nf.
Poetry
“Machado, ‘Caminante, No Hay Camino/ Traveler, There Is No Road’ | Favorite Poem Project,” n.d. https://www.favoritepoem.org/poems/caminante-no-hay-camino/
Oliver, M. 2009. “I Want to Write Something So Simply.” Evidence: Poems. Beacon Press.
Sexual Assault Statistics
“Me too INFO SHEET: The Red Zone: Sexual Violence on College Campuses.” Me too. Movement. Accessed October 22, 2024.
https://metoomvmt.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/1.5.11_The-Red-Zone-Sexual-Violence-on-College-Campuses_INFOSHEET_V2.pdf.
Song
Guillermo Cuellar. “Vamos Todos Al Banquete,” July 21, 2014.
Transformative Justice
Kaba, Mariame and Naomi, Murakawa. 2021. We Do This ‘til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice. Chicago, IL, Haymarket Books
Writing
Gilbert, Elizabeth. 2015. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. New York, Penguin Audio.
Goldberg, Natalie. 2016. Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within. Boston, Mass. London, Shambhala.